Shocking News !!!

This just in:Marie's liver tried attacking her brain!!! Her morbid insides are out of control! - ->JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!Its official.My life hates my life.

I taught the mirror how to kill itself

I'm tired and i am bored.Wow!And here i sit with a lifetime supply of blah feelings. I just finished making this personality quiz for my psychology class. Its quite humorous but not so accurate. Tomorrow is Thursday! These days just keep on subtracting. Nervous breakdowns are really fun.Right. . . a scream threatened to escape from my lips.

Pretzels? Pretzels anyone?

I've found myself becoming strongly attracted to guys who are like "ok so i have black hair. . . i think i'm going to put blonde streaks in it" and it turns out looking like a goldish blonde hard to explain color. Arggghh . .. it looks so extremely good i want to melt right now.Ok. Enough of that.This evening was very pleasant. Its always a blast when your hanging out with one of your best friends. Me and Rachel went to the mall and skipped around placing notes on peoples cars that said "you are the cause of the end of the world" and "you are special" (and on the back it said ED). We were both thrilled by our little plan of brightening lifes until later it rained (i hope they discovered the napkins before they got soaked). Then we crawled over to Steak and Shake and had a feast. Rachel tried to stab herself with a fork. I . . .um. .. tried telling her "no" after i took the pic. Hop. What a relief. Tonight reminded me of what its like to laugh.

Pain is most intense when it's gradual

These thoughts of mine are spinning around and around but what's the use when they are getting me absolutely nowhere? I have this huge weight on my shoulders that's caused by an insane amount of stress. This isn't easy to admit but i've always felt like i can't talk to anyone unless i have something really really important or interesting to say. The fear of rejection is controlling my life little by little. I know i'm missing out on so much. There have been far too many interesting people i have passed up in my life. Regrets are adding up like trash. Too many jars are filled up with tears of shame. I hate the fact that i'm overly sensitive to e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.Why does it seem like everyone is kicking back enjoying life while here i am running around like a crazy person trying to meet expectations. Depression is slowly drowning my confidence. It becomes absurd when you get to the point where you begin to admire other people so much that you ignore the good in yourself.Every day you must saySo, how do I feel about my life ?Anything is hard to findWhen you will not open your eyesWhen will you accept yourself ?I am sick and I am dullAnd I am plainHow dearly I'd love to get carried awayOh, but dreams have a knack of just not coming trueAnd time is against me now...ohOh, who and what to blame ?Oh, anything is hard to findWhen you will not open your eyesWhen will you accept yourself, for heaven's sake ?Anything is hard to findWhen you will not open your eyesEvery day you must sayOh, how do I feel about the past ?Others conquered love - but I ranI sat in my room and I drew up a planOh, but plans can fall through (as so often they do)And time is against me now...And there's no-one left to blameOh, tell me when will you ...When will you accept your life ?(The one that you hate)For anything is hard to findWhen you will not open your eyesEvery day you must sayOh, how do I feel about my shoes ?They make me awkward and plainHow dearly I would love to kick with the fray ...But I once had a dream (and it never came true)And time is against me now...Time is against me now...And there's no one but yourself to blameOh, anything is hard to findWhen you will not open your eyesAnything is hard to find; for heaven's sake !Anything is hard to findWhen you will not open your eyesWhen will you accept yourself ?When ?When ?When ?When ?-The Smiths-

Deadsy reminds me of all the crazy times with rachel

Everyone is so excited because its the new year and supposedly most convenient to "start over". New year resolutions are kinda meaningless to me for i'm constantly setting goals for myself throughout the year. This one day out of the year doesn't give me the thrilling motivation to improve myself by lets say mountain climbing or brutally defeat headless vampire chickens.NOWI think i will go out and scare myself by walking the dark streets with my cd player blasting. It's most chilling when you can't hear or see whats going on around you. I will only stop when my heart stops."She likes nice cars Invincible trends She bites the heads off Her mutual friends We dine at the table She sits at the end She likes big words And playing pretend" Ladies and Gentlemen i'd like to introduce: Taken on December of 2003: Mr. Shopping cart once lived a bright lifeBut it was taken away suddenly by a push and a kickR.I.P

KT's sister's kitten - atari !

Dead Poetic steals the moment

I want to see your eyesThe light, the tunnelI need to feel your love This fight, my struggleWhich hand should I cut off? My life in shamblesI’ll lose my life right hereBut what for, I’m coming homeAnd I will meet you . . .thereI’m heading nowhere fast I need your handsWhich breath will be my last? It’s gone, my pastLove with a broken heart I’m here aloneI’m getting taken away I hope you’re coming soonAnd I will meet you. . .thereGrab my hand and take me homeWill you be there to grab my hand and take me away?I want to see your eyes I need to feel your love Which hand should I cut off? !I’ll lose my life right here!

SHAT APPPPDi...

SHAT APPPPDid anyone say creepy little disfigured man and wild blood thristy giant boars?! NOT I !!

I'm not crazy cause i take the right pills everyday

Today tells me that tomorrow is exchanging gifts for secret santa at my work. Joyous! I'm sucha smartass . . . not even SmIrKiN - - - > lol. What i did was went out and bought a gift certificate for best buy. But thats so boring. . .(oh *surprise* !!). . .so to spicen things up a bit i put it in a box with tissue paper and rice over it. Alot of rice. Tons of rice (i really hope he likes rice or else i'll make him eat it raw and watch his stomach explode). . . But just incase he flips out before getting to the good part i stuck a note under all the rice saying "LOOK UNDER". I can't wait till i see tippee toe's face. He'll be like "what the hell is this shit"?!?!?! LOOOL. Oh boy oh boy.Away and away and away. 2 more days left! !

I'm not crazy cause i take the right pills everyday

Today tells me that tomorrow is exchanging gifts for secret santa at my work. Joyous! I'm sucha smartass . . . not even SmIrKiN - - - > lol. What i did was went out and bought a gift certificate for best buy. But thats so boring. . .(oh *surprise* !!). . .so to spicen things up a bit i put it in a box with tissue paper and rice over it. Alot of rice. Tons of rice (i really hope he likes rice or else i'll make him eat it raw and watch his stomach explode). . . But just incase he flips out before getting to the good part i stuck a note under all the rice saying "LOOK UNDER". I can't wait till i see tippee toe's face. He'll be like "what the hell is this shit"?!?!?! LOOOL. Oh boy oh boy.Away and away and away. 2 more days left! !

Dear dearest online journal

Things are in their right placeI can feel this huge climax approaching

Just don't mind me!

You're just a parrot when you're screaming and you're shouting"More crackers please! More crackers please!"You want what you want but you don't wanna be on your kneesWho does your, who does your hair?How are you?Fine, Thank youHow are you?Fine, Thank you.You bought a new vanthe first year of your bandYou're cool andI hardly wanna say"not" because I'm so bored that'd I'd be entertained even by a stupid floora linoleum floor, linoleum floor,Your lyrics are dumb like a linoleum floorI'll walk on itI'll walk all over youWalk on it, walk on itNonsense. . .pure nonnnsense.!.!.! WELL! Where did i last leave off??? Oh yes section 858 on page 29384Yesterday was QUITE an exciting day at work - - me, Tiff, Jocelyn and Ryan (herb) all "worked out" after work! Loads of fun . . .and afterwards we just sat outside talking for what seemed like forever. . .everyone was giving us dirty looks and their LoUd snarls echoed throughout our ears but that's ok cause tea parties for everyone! Everyone i say!Anyway today was much better then all of last week combined. I finally knocked some sense into my spanish teacher . . . he allowed me to take that one test over and afterwards i ended up talking to him about holland and cuba and wah wah wah !I can't wait till these exams are over i just wanna get to the good part ! ! ! My bones feel like jello. Interesting.

My mind keeps skipping and tripping

This old crazy woman on COPS lost her dentures on a roof because her husband shoved a piece of cheese in her mouth. . . . that just tickles my toes!Anyway i guess i can say my life is pretty plain compared to that. Just last night i went to a show at Neptunes. Finally got to see Finger11 who were awesome and Something Corporate who were preetttaay cool. . . the lead singer reminds me of 2 completely different people combined. Sttrannge. Stanger, Danger! Stranger, Danger! There is a stranger in your house and hes going to eat all of your meatloaf Warning, Warning, Warning.Ahhh. Shucks. Um. Ok. Today at work i found out who i have for the secret santa and surprise surprise. . . i have someone who eh uh no comment.I wasn't screaming on the top of my lungs. . . instead i was at the bottom.That's all folks. Adios

"...

"It used to be, a boy brings you roses or sings under your balcony - you date, you establish a relationship, then, after a ceremony in which you get to wear the most excellent frock of your life, you have sex. Now its all, well, backwards. We jump straight into the sex, and then -if we feel like it- we start worrying about the relationship. And frocks don't come into it at all, really."

Do they have tornado warnings in the north pole?

I'm deadly bored.With snake fangs. Today sent me rocket high then suddenly left me hanging dry. Radiohead rocks. People at my work crack me up so much. Laughing + Alot = Great. My skin is just annoying me. I need to feel something different. What if i kept repeating myself? Annoying at times. There are so many people i don't know yet. I wonder what they are doing right now. I wonder what the people who were close to my past are doing now. People can make me nervous and. . . .i bite my lip when i'm nervous. The weather was really something today. It doesn't feel like the holiday season. . .no (Green and red are overrated).Football sucks. I need calcium, my bones are shedding their bark. I'm fond of the word delirium. I wonder if you wonder that i wonder if you wonder about.

Don't let the goosebumps bite

Well today was/is halloween and i just got home from trick or treating/ and a party. Sometimes i get this feeling where i just wish i had someone to hug, makeout, cuddle or dance with. Between the battle of my emotions - love and hate . . . i came to realize that love is stronger . . . and i can back that up with alot of reasons.

My thoughts are escaping from its mental institution = => called the brain

sometimes i itch my skin until it bleeds (because beauty is only skin deep)i watch closely as the brutal meatloaf takes on the morbid slice of tender turkey . . . .gooey laughter fills the airi cry so hard it turns black and the oxygen is killedand his sly smile reminds me of the strings of greenbeans stuck inbetween a pair of buck teethoh how irritating and fun it tickles my mind

The best song that has ever entered my ears

The next time you want to fuck me over, stab me in the front Can I still see my future in your eyes?Or can I picture myself stone dead in your embrace? And your cruel crimson smile kills me quietlyNo one could have their moments free from your withering touch Fuck off! Like you're the only one who has ever cried or been broken by love Spare me your pity party drunk off your own misfortunes Wallowing in your blissful melancholy Can you taste my blood? You knew that this would kill meBut you carried on and onWith your selfish shitEveryone cared about you.. . .Why couldn't you? Instead your greed compelled you to steal other silver liningsBurnt down my worldYou killed my hope Spread out the ash and walked away How could you just close off your eyes?Next time I see your face we’ll see who has the upper hand Kiss my fistTaste the floorTired of your gamesFuck off goodbye

Your justice could freeze beer

I really despise it when people who don't know me THINK they've got me all figured out. If i make a comment thats different or dress up in something thats out of the ordinary most people would be in shock and make the dreadful remark of "wow thats so not you".Well fuck you very much but i think i know who i am. If i want to dress a certain way or make a comment thats unusual i will do whatever i please. This proves why i love my true friends so much. They except me for who i am and would never purposely make fun of me for what i wear or say. While supporting me through my good decisions they lead me in the right direction when i start to make bad ones. They are always there for me and i can count on geting a good laugh when i'm with them anytime. I'm so grateful i've found friends like them. There's nothing better then a great friendship.

Ok

Ok so i fell through on my word.But It's so hard to resist writing in this journal (which is currently under the name neglect). So i decided to write in it.Just to excite you.Ohh no. . .not. . .really.Nothing exciting is going on in my life. I feel dull at times and happy at others but what more can you expect? I'm so sick of myself sometimes. Like i always get those "hallway" crushes . . .you know the ones where you can't stop staring at the person cause they are just so god damn interesting looking . . . .and you don't have the guts to say anything to them?It sucks.

Attention all readers!

I've decided i'm only going to write in this journal when i am happy or when i'm in a hopelessly romantic mood. So don't expect many enteries in the near future.Signing off with fake rubber lips and long goooey eyelashes,Marie

WOOOOOOOOO Lions Tigers Bears OH MY!!

Today was a blast!!! I went to the mall with katharoach and we were hookers on the side of the road!! OMG sosoosso funny we went to brents and then it rained right when we got out. . . so we stood in front of the building brainstorming our way back to the mall. These older men across the road were looking at us and i was a hollering "how am i suppose to get business when it rains?!" We were striking all these "sexy mama" poses and This guy came up to us and offered us a ride. . .hes like "my car's kinda dirty. . . " and i'm thinking so is your mind you dirty dirty MAN!!!WELL ANYWAY me and katie questioned everything there was to think about. . . . then went to the book store to search for answers ahahhahahahaa. WOO oh and i HATE crossing the road... . . especially when its a main one like 41!! my sandle feel off me feets in the middle of the high way! LOL omggg i hate it when people beep beep at us!!!google my oogggggleeeee suck me thumbs

I I I I

This is such a delight!